The Book Tour, The Conversation, and Vital Services
We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. These words are from Molly Ivins, quoted today at RH Reality Check from Ivins’s last column before she passed away. They can easily be applied to the current contraception conflicts. Hmm… something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. There’s this week’s Doonesbury cartoon strip, thank you, Gary Trudeau. There’s a bill pending in the Ohio state legislature requiring men to have sex counseling before they can have a prescription for Viagra. And more, I’m sure. The lampooning is great. It’s good to laugh, and it helps people to see more clearly. However, the painful consequences of repressive politics are taking their toll among women and families across the country. The latest is in Texas where 130,000 women are losing their reproductive health services at the hands of the state government. So much for less government intrusion in our lives! I’m not in Texas. I’m in Oregon. I was in California last week. I’ll be in Washington State in a few days. I’m on a book tour for Life Choices. It’s going well. The talks at the bookstores have been attended well. I’ll be at In Other Words in Portland tomorrow at 5 p.m. The whole tour schedule is here. This morning I had breakfast with Shelly, the director of Backline. This indispensable pregnancy options hotline provides non-judgmental counseling at 1-888-493-0092. Shelly and I had a meaningful exchange about the root causes of crisis pregnancies and the terrible bind many women are in with regard to having safe support from society for their reproductive choices whether these are pregnancy, parenting, abortion, or adoption. The stress on the vital volunteers at Backline is more difficult in the current political climate. The same is true for the dedicated volunteers at Exhale, a post-abortion hotline at 1-866-439-4253. While in the Bay Area last week, I met over lunch with Exhale’s founder and director, Aspen Baker, who started the organization ten years ago with the unique mission to build a pro-voice community to change the culture so that it is more supportive and respectful of the experience of abortion. On March 3 in Oakland, I attended a training sponsored by The Abortion Conversation Project, an inspiring group I urge you to know about and support. ACP is in the midst of an in depth re-envisioning process. See their mission and vision here. In Ashland, I enjoyed not one, but three gatherings, the first of which was the monthly meeting of the local chapter of the American Association of University Women, and participated in a good exchange about social policy issues including reproductive choice. Lots of good people in that town. What sort of conversation do we want to have about women’s health issues? Certainly not the one that isolates and stigmatizes the abortion choice or one that demeans and demoralizes women for choosing to be parents when they are poor—double pressures that reflect the judgments and fears that prevail in certain sectors of society. Damned if we do and damned if we don’t. This is the way a patriarchal, class society maintains power over people. Not everyone sees it this way of course, which just shows how important it is to have open discussion if we are to achieve our goals. In Life Choices I talk about how legal abortion and the rise of women’s reproductive freedom is one of the main vehicles that will help society evolve...
Read MoreAbortion Rights, Reality, Responsibility, and Respect
The core of reproduction as it effects women’s lives is what we pay attention to in the movement for women’s freedom. It’s not only about rights. It’s about reality, responsibility, and respect. Rights are not enough. We need more. Last week I attended a heartening celebration in Denver called Don’t Rewind Roe, hosted by Protect Families Protect Choice, which is a coalition of major women’s organizations in Colorado. We listened to an inter-generational panel of three accomplished women, each of whom spoke with deep intelligence and sophistication about the importance of safe, legal abortion. They reminded us how far we’ve come and how far we have to go. Each presenter was enthusiastic and knowledgeable. Each was calm and unapologetic. The exchange centered in the lives of women from three designated generations–“pre-Roe,” “gen x,” and “millennial.” Each speaker offered her perspective about her own life, her family relationships, and her understanding of the impact of legal abortion. We were treated to film clips from the three eras, which augmented the dramatic changes that have taken place in the status of women. If you want to be reminded about how it was for women forty years ago–pre-feminist movement–take a look at those old movies and TV shows. As a pre-Roe woman I can tell you, it’s harrowing. We have entered the fortieth year since Roe v Wade. Millions of women have been able to obtain safe, legal abortions when they needed them. Millions of lives were saved because women determined when and whether to carry a pregnancy to term. But we are under threat and the threat is increasing in volume and virulence. It’s looking like the rousingly hysterical anti-abortion rhetoric that has taken over the Republican party will dictate much what goes on in the presidential election. Those who would make abortion illegal again have waged a relentless campaign to convince people that having a baby is always better than having an abortion, and that women have abortions because they don’t understand that it would be okay to have the baby. Neither of these is true of course. Women have abortions for all kinds of reasons, and underlying their decisions is a flashing light of clarity that having a baby with that particular pregnancy is not the right thing to do. There is nothing wrong with having an abortion. There is no reason to feel bad about it or to qualify it in any way. It isn’t a “necessary choice” or a “sad choice” or an “unfortunate choice.” It is a good choice, as good a choice as continuing a pregnancy, just different. The defensiveness that some of us feel is a natural reaction to the nasty opposition that has been escalating in ferocity since Roe, but it is not helpful to women. At this point in the struggle it is crucial that everyone become absolutely clear that there is nothing to apologize for when it comes to abortion. That old idea that every abortion is a tragedy implies that there is something wrong with it, and there isn’t. This is one of the reasons I wrote Life Choices, to reclaim the legitimate place of abortion in life. Lots has been happening with the book. I will be doing a WEST COAST TOUR in March, beginning in San Francisco, driving up to Ashland and Portland, and then to Seattle. This is being put together as we speak. Very exciting. Any and all help with contacts and connections is welcome. Please let me know if you can help, or if you want me to come to your area. An essay I wrote was just published...
Read MoreTen Ways to Stay Connected to Life
Doesn’t it bother you that people who hold an extremely narrow view of reproductive health have commandeered the word life? For example, bumper stickers that say Choose Life, are invariably anti-abortion. The pro-choice camp often responds with slogans like Protect Choice. There’s nothing wrong with that phrase, but it might not be the best response because it plays into the idea that somehow those of us for whom legal abortion is a blessing are not in favor of life. Nothing could be farther from the truth. When women choose abortion they are choosing life as much as when they choose to continue a pregnancy. Both choices are life choices. Both choices are considered choices and involve deep reasoning and a lot of heart. The specifics of this is diverse and complicated. Each woman’s relationship to pregnancy involves myriad aspects of her life and life in general. Her ability to bring forth new life from her body encompasses her physiology and her psychology, and… her spirituality. Her judgment about the outcome of a pregnancy reflects an ancient and innate responsibility. We all know this, and yet we are faced with growing extremism in the name of life that denies what actually happens in real life. It’s a little wearying to say the least. The best way to stay strong in the face of this is to stay consciously connected to All Life—the interconnected oneness of existence. This is important for both clarity about our work in the world and for our mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. I think it’s especially important this time of year when the stress of the holidays threatens to take over our lives. Here are ten ways you can stay connected to life: 1. Meditate on a regular basis. (Sit in a quiet place with a straight spine. Breathe deeply and normally. Relax.) 2. Take walks. 3. Make contact with non-human nature—ground, sky, plants, rocks, animals. 4. Remember where you are—Earth. 5. Breathe consciously. 6. Make a list of everyone and everything you love. 7. Eat well and drink enough water. 8. Talk with your friends and stay connected with your community. 9. Remember that deeply rooted power relations don’t uproot easily. They change over the long haul and require the courage and persistence of the people seeking change. 10. Remember that the universe and all it manifests is vast. Trust the process. Have a wonderful holiday season. Happy...
Read MoreAbortion Healing, Feminism, and the Earth
I’ve heard from a good number of women and men since Life Choices came out in September. Sometimes it’s about their own abortion healing, and sometimes it’s about their desire for more depth, clarity, and kindness in the public dialogue about abortion. Everyone I speak with expresses alarm and sometimes disgust about the current political battles around abortion. It’s all I can do not to be upended by the severe antipathy of the political debate.There is an urgent need for us to once again fervently and courageously hold our ground. The big lesson is about trusting our own voices. It’s about not being manipulated by people, especially people in power, who claim to have our best interests at heart but who really don’t care at all about our lives. Our real lives I mean, and the real life of our planet. The attack being waged against women is nasty and ferocious, and led by narrow thinking, usually ignorant, mostly male legislators trying to turn back the most basic of services that provide safety and good health to women. And how are they doing it? By hollering about abortion, as if abortion were the worst thing in the world. By speaking of abortion as a life taker when it is really a life giver. By lying about the real lives of women and men. By playing on the fear and embarrassment most people feel about anything related to sex. And worst of all, by pretending they care about women, which they do not, because if they did, they would know not to wipe out services that are essential to the well being of women and their families. The current situation can make you a feminist in an instant. There’s no getting around it. In April, Terry Tempest Williams (one of my favorite authors), felt called to write about the furious attack on our health options. What is good for women is good for humanity. The world’s population is rising as the earth’s resources are being depleted. This is the conversation we need to engage. Tending to women’s reproductive health is tending to the health of the planet. I was on the radio the other day being interviewed about abortion healing and the ideas in Life Choices. The wonderful people at KGNU, our local community radio station, were passionate, intelligent, committed, and supportive. I’m grateful. I’ll do a book talk and signing at the Tattered Cover (Colfax Store) in Denver on Friday, November 4, 7:30 p.m. What a time this is to be re-entering the...
Read MoreLife Choices Empowers Women
Life Choices: The Teachings of Abortion is now widely available. I had my debut talk and signing at Boulder Bookstore on Tuesday to a packed room of current and new friends (around 60! I was told). There was a lot of heart and a lot of love in the room, as well as a depth of thought and consideration about the need to thoroughly examine the ways in which we can engage with the abortion issue to improve women’s lives. What an auspicious start to the unfolding of this book’s path! Several people spoke to issues of power and empowerment in women’s lives. That empowerment comes as we open to making conscious choices about caring in our lives—who and what we care about and where and when we do the caring. As more and more people move in that direction, through confronting the necessities of their lives (including making choices about pregnancy), we will develop the skills to make the same kinds of choices in relation to the whole earth. Moreover, we will become clear that we and the earth are one and the same and that what we do to her we do to ourselves. We can be inspired by the courage with which women face their lives, and embrace all of life’s difficulties as we protect and preserve the only home we have—our body and the body of the earth. Boulder Valley Women’s Health Center will have a “funraiser” on October 22 at Boulder Theater. I’ll be selling my book there. I’ll be at Tattered Cover (Colfax store) for a talk and signing on Friday, November 4, 7:30 p.m. I’m looking forward to it very much. Please join me, and tell all your...
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